How Formal or Casual should my wedding invitations be?
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How formal to make your wedding is an artistic question. But all too often young, cool couples sabotage themselves because they’re too embarassed to do it right. Casual can still be 100% artistically correct, so don’t let cheap be an excuse to look cheap, or informal be an excuse to look insincere.
Memorize this one line I’ve used for a decade now, “For every dollar you save in invitations, you’ll sacrifice $5 in gifts.” I know you’re not allowed to think like that, but seriously, if you spent $100 on invitations because “that’s all [you] could afford,” guess how much your average gift would be? $10 probably. Now if you spent $800 on those same people, your average gift would go 
up to $50 apiece.
These were my wedding invitations:
Those were casual, with butterflies, two different fonts, a vellum cover and periwinkle ink. Yet they were gorgeous. And because of doing casual right, we got hundreds of gifts that cost a good amount apiece. Again, I know that’s not why you’re getting married and how dare I see your grandmother as a number. But for those of you who have nothing, the most of you who are getting married young and actually need a microwave, don’t sell yourself short by making your invitations look cheap.
The difference in what you’d order and what the Queen of England would order for wedding invitations isn’t visible. It’s in the type of printing, the quality of paper—all sorts of variables I could write books about. But it’s not anything your mother’s friends can tell from 3 feet away. For that matter it’s not anything the Queen of England can tell from 3 feet away. It consists entirely of traditional things you have to be trained to see…
Please respond below with your questions or comments.
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June 9th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Hey Colin - I need your help. My brother and sister in law are living in Korea. They got married last september while there (without any family on either side attending), and are coming to the states in August for a visit. While here, my parents, my sister and I would like to throw them a party/open house to celebrate their wedding. My questions are as follows: what kind of wording should I put on the invitations? We plan to make this a casual event - but we plan to invite many people - many of whom are friends of our family and we knew while growing up. Another question - they will be flying back to korea and will be unable to take gifts with them. How do I let that be known as we send out invites? Well, let me know if you have any other questions or ideas. thanks for your time. Emily
June 30th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Okay, so we’ll call this an open house. But if half the people you’re inviting don’t know the couple is married, it’s kinda’ also a marriage announcement. So the real answer is to call me, or stop by if you’re in the Bay Area. Other than that, you don’t want to make it look too much like a standard wedding announcement, since it’s been 9 months. So not knowing you personally, I would go super-casual, something along this tone (which you may hate, but I’m talking tone here, not content): “Casey and Becca are coming to town, all the way from Korea! Please join us for a nine-months belated wedding reception and open house in their honor. It’ll be at the Eastman Residence, 2345 Streety Street, North Umbridge, Massachussetts, on July 19 from 7 ’til 9.” Honestly I think it would be a blast being that informal. You can hedge all fears of impropriety by keeping the design professional. Meaning if you do this by email no one will show up, or typed off your computer. But if you spend the $100 to have it printed professionally, in a casual yet classy way, people will still get the hint, still fly out for the ocassion, etc. As for gifts, Plan A is to you can either return everything and take the money; Plan B is to stash it at your parents’ house for 3 years ’til you move back to the states; or Plan C, just put another casual line at the bottom of the card, i.e. “There’s no room for gifts on the plane. So spend all your otherwise-gift money on a nice hotel!”